Monday, February 16, 2015

Five Worst Celebrity Baby Names in the History of Hollywood

It’s time to name and shame the A-list set here on the Luxe Models blog this week. Here are the five worst celebrity baby names in the history of Hollywood.

The one thing Luxe Models really hates about celebrities

Here at Luxe Models we love celebrities. They’re fascinating creatures. The activities, style choices and wardrobe blunders of the A-list set keep us endlessly amused every time we open the latest edition of our favourite glossy.

Yet there’s one unfortunate character trait of the average celebrity that fails to amuse us every time it rears the ugly head. The A-list penchant for giving their progeny ridiculous names. Seriously, how are these kids going to survive in the playground with names like ‘Apple?’

Naming and shaming five A-list parents

In other words this week we’re taking a stand for every child forced to endure a stupendous name by their famous parents. The five worst celebrity baby names in the history of Hollywood are…

1)      North West: Only Kanye West could come up with a name that makes him look more arrogant than he did after THAT TaylorSwift incident at the VMAs. He was blatantly trying to be clever when he decided to name his daughter after a point on the compass but it totally back-fired.

2)      Destiny Cyrus: Stop the presses. Miley’s real name is Destiny! Seriously, dad Billy Ray should be flogged for this. No wonder she made such a show of herself at the 2013 VMAS with a name like Destiny!
Destiny Cyrus Luxe Models

3)      Apple Martin: God Gwyneth Paltrow’s annoying. Only the queen of GOOP would think it’s a good idea to name her kid after a fruit. She probably got the idea from whatever crazy fad diet she was following at the time.

4)      Kal-El Cage: Apparently Nicholas Cage is a massive geek. How have we come to this conclusion? He named his son after Superman. It doesn’t get any more Big Bang Theory than that.

5)      Zuma Nesta Rock: There are no words. Apparently Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale named their kid after “Zuma” beach in Malibu, which is kind of cool. Yet maybe they should have picked another beach – they’ve made their child sound like an odd mix between a fitness technique and a coffee brand.

Five of many horrific baby names

Do you agree? These are five pretty bad Hollywood baby names but let’s face it, they’re just five of many. If anything this post has reminded us that apparently the minute you reach the stars you forget how things are for the rest of us back down here on earth. 

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